She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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