I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
