In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
