i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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