Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
