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guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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