I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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