I'm really into asian looking animals
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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