I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
