They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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