i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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