Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
