WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
