Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
