Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
