did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
