I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
