And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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