my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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