you traded sex for a burrito?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Randomize
