u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
