There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
