the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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