I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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