you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
