im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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