so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
