Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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