So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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