hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
