I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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