Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
