also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
