everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
why is half of my head shaved?
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