chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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