I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
