3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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