Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
