So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
