I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
