I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Blood and glitter go together right?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You were trust falling into bushes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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