i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
