this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
