I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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