Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
