i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
