They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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