After last night, I could never be a politician.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
