I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
How external is "for external use only"?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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