I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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