So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
