doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
